Hi my name is Brooke and I’m a fast-food-junk-food-aholic……there, I said it. I eat like total dirt. Ugh, excuse me high cholesterol party of one.
Something has got to give before I end up on high blood pressure medication at 30. Gulp there’s that darn number again….
I got in the ole Smiling Shoes Mobile yesterday ready to get my Wednesday night of fun started when I noticed the growing pile of fast food bags. It surprised me for a second; I didn’t remember going through THAT many fast food lines. There was the first sign of a problem. Obviously I’d gone through the lines because my snug fitting jeans and cluttered passenger seat was proof of that. Fast food lines have become a habit that I don’t even feel guilty about anymore. I used to feel guilty.
Many moons ago I dated a guy who was a fitness Greek god, we will call him Ed because that is a name fitting of a Greek god. Ed had the blue eyes, bulging biceps, electric smile and abs for days. Seriously he had abs in places I didn’t know you could have abs. He worked out daily, did triathlons and ate better than anyone I know to this day. To avoid an earful about my “dirty” eating habits I would actually hide my Taco Bell trash. When we later moved in together, awful idea, I would hide junk food around the house. Yup I was like a kid at fat camp, move my copies of the Twilight Saga and you would probably find a bag Oreos, half eaten Snickers bar and Doritos. The thing is I actually felt bad about being a dirty filthy eater. I suppose I didn’t feel bad enough to stop hiding food like a teenage boy hides dirty magazines, but heck at least I felt guilty about it….. but that was then…..
This is now… (Flash back of not guilty week of fast food ….)
ugh, I make some bad choices
I don’t feel guilty anymore; I like my mexican pizzas and soft tacos. I like them on the verge of loving them about a half step away from looking up if I can legally wed them. Yeah, I have a problem. A bigger problem than wanting to honeymoon with the Taco Bell menu is I genuinely do not like the way I look. My abs are still there, maybe, hidden under many months of over eating. The blueberry muffins I used to have for breakfast are now perched on my hips. I can’t even think about my butt or thighs at this point without wanting to put in Titanic and cry.
So do I feel guilty about eating like dirt, NOPE…… but….. I don’t feel happy with the thighs staring back at me in the mirror. That says more to me than guilt. If I want fabulous instead of flabby, I’m going to have to make more changes than adding “running” to my daily routine. I have to make sacrifices to have what’s most important to me and what’s most important to me is feeling confident in my skin.
“Dear Taco Bell. I really care about you; I mean we’ve had some really great times. You’re always open late for 4th meal and I really appreciate your Diet Pepsi, even though it’s not Diet Coke. I want you to know that it’s not you, it’s me. I just, sigh, I don’t think we can food date anymore…. I know I know, please don’t cry. No, no we can’t be friends. Just know… when the nights get cold and lonely… I will think of you. I love you mi amore.”
Sniffle.. yeah it’s hard, but it had to be done. Taco Bell will find another love and I know my expanding waste line will thank me. It’s just, sniffle, going to take time….
In the meantime… I have packed a healthy day of small portions. (The pill… allergy medicine, good gravy when did the plants conspire to kick my nose and eyes butt? Seriously how do allergies make your ears itch?)
I can’t be the only one to have this problem, right? It’s really not easy giving up fast food for the greater good. If you’ve been in the predicament please comment, because I’m getting cold shakes just thinking about it. I know I can do this or at the very least I’m going to try my hardest. I can clean up my diet and giving up fast food is the first step.
Current in progress goals and habits.
NEW NEW NEW: THP (The Happypaloose Project) Working Habit: Don’t allow the little things to ding the ole feelings. Laughing and smiling burns way more calories that alternative. 1 DAY SUCCESSFUL!! Was even faced with a little stress and it all worked out fine with being a bullfrog!
THP (The Happypaloose Project) Working Habit: Speak in a voice that is kind only! By doing so I hope to uplift and encourage myself and those around me. 6 DAYS SUCCESSFUL! Had to use mean mom voice once, but that doesn’t count right?
SF (Skinny Fat) Working Habit: 5k training in accordance to Couch to 5k, with minimum 30 min walk on alternate days.3 DAYS SUCCESSFUL!! …yesterday was a rest day. I’m back at pounding the pavement again this evening.